Monday, January 11, 2010

FRANK SINATRA - Rain In My Heart / Star! - Reprise-0798 - 1969

Winter, so far, has been fucking brutal. I seem to recall last year's winter being much more tolerable, I'd almost go as far as to say it was a warm one.

I remember a particularly strange day from last winter, right about this time of year, when I woke up on Johnny's couch, all confused, and decided to call out of work and take the train down to Coney Island. I walked around, up and down the boardwalk with my coat in hand, the wind feeling suspiciously warm. I could write some real syrupy shit about how beautiful it was, but that's not exactly true. In theory, it could've been, but there was a lot of darkness for me to sort through. At one point I remember sitting on the sand, thinking to myself "there's something wrong with everything." Some woman with the brightest yellow coat I'd ever seen walked past me and asked if I was OK, said I looked worried. I told her I thought I was going blind, which made no sense at all. At another point I was sitting at the end of the pier and I had this retarded urge to just jump off the edge, or maybe punch myself in the face really really hard, or, if nothing else, just sit and weep like a small child. I'm glad I didn't follow through with any of those things though, I would've looked like a fucking idiot. Eventually my sense of loneliness scared the shit out of me and I went back home.

I think I can say that this year isn't feeling as dark as last, although I can't exactly say that it's full of light either. Maybe it's most accurate to say that it's being filled with a bunch of really confusing colors.

What connection does any of this have to Frank Sinatra? I dunno, maybe none, but there's something quite heavy about this song. At moments it makes me wanna empty my bank account, spend it all on a custom suit, and walk straight into the ocean.

Frank Sinatra - Rain In My Heart:

1 comment:

ISO, Rochester said...

Still one of my favorite songs of all time. Remember when we realized how good Frank Sinatra is? It's crazy how the more you really dig into him, the more you appreciate him. Next, let's talk about Sammy's "What kind of fool am I".