FRANK SINATRA - Rain In My Heart / Star! - Reprise-0798 - 1969
Winter, so far, has been fucking brutal. I seem to recall last year's winter being much more tolerable, I'd almost go as far as to say it was a warm one.
I remember a particularly strange day from last winter, right about this time of year, when I woke up on Johnny's couch, all confused, and decided to call out of work and take the train down to Coney Island. I walked around, up and down the boardwalk with my coat in hand, the wind feeling suspiciously warm. I could write some real syrupy shit about how beautiful it was, but that's not exactly true. In theory, it could've been, but there was a lot of darkness for me to sort through. At one point I remember sitting on the sand, thinking to myself "there's something wrong with everything." Some woman with the brightest yellow coat I'd ever seen walked past me and asked if I was OK, said I looked worried. I told her I thought I was going blind, which made no sense at all. At another point I was sitting at the end of the pier and I had this retarded urge to just jump off the edge, or maybe punch myself in the face really really hard, or, if nothing else, just sit and weep like a small child. I'm glad I didn't follow through with any of those things though, I would've looked like a fucking idiot. Eventually my sense of loneliness scared the shit out of me and I went back home.
I think I can say that this year isn't feeling as dark as last, although I can't exactly say that it's full of light either. Maybe it's most accurate to say that it's being filled with a bunch of really confusing colors.
What connection does any of this have to Frank Sinatra? I dunno, maybe none, but there's something quite heavy about this song. At moments it makes me wanna empty my bank account, spend it all on a custom suit, and walk straight into the ocean.
Frank Sinatra - Rain In My Heart: